Beautiful

[VERONICA:]September 1st, 1989Dear Diary:I believe I'm a good person. You know, I think that there's good in everyone, but—here we are! First day of senior year!And uh... I look around at these kids that I've known all my life and I ask myself—what happened?

[KIDS:]Freak! Slut! Burnout! Bug-eyes! Poser! Lard-ass!

[VERONICA:]We were so tiny, happy and shinyPlaying tag and getting chased

[KIDS:]Freak! Slut! Loser! Shortbus!

[VERONICA:]Singing and clapping, laughing and nappingBaking cookies, eating paste

[KIDS:]Bull-dyke! Stuck-up! Hunchback!

[VERONICA:]Then we got bigger, that was the triggerLike the Huns invading Rome

Oh, Sorry!

Welcome to my school, this ain't no high school:This is the Thunderdome

Hold your breath and count the days, we're graduating soon

[KIDS:]White trash!

[VERONICA:]College will be paradise, if I'm not dead by June!

But I know, I know, life can be beautifulI pray, I pray for a better wayIf we changed back then, we could change againWe can be beautiful...

[VERONICA:]Just not today

Hey, are you okay?

[HIPSTER DORK:]Get away, nerd

[VERONICA:]Oh, okay

[KIDS:]Freak! Slut! Cripple! Homo! Homo! Homo!

[VERONICA:]Things will get better soon as my letterComes from Harvard, Duke, or BrownWake from this coma, take my diplomaThen I can blow this town

Dream of ivy-covered walls and smoky French cafés

[RAM:]Watch it!

[VERONICA:]Fight the urge to strike a match and set this dump ablaze!

[RAM:]Oops

[VERONICA:]Ram Sweeney. Third year as linebacker and eighth year of smacking lunch trays and being a huge dick

[RAM:]What did you say to me, skank?

[VERONICA:]Aah, nothing!

[VERONICA:] But I know, I know... [KIDS:] I know, I know...[VERONICA:] Life can be beautiful [KIDS:] Beautiful[VERONICA:] I pray, I pray [KIDS:] I pray, I pray[VERONICA:] For a better way [KIDS:] For a better way[VERONICA:] We were kind before; [KIDS:] Ooh...[VERONICA:] We can be kind once more [KIDS:] Ooh...[VERONICA:] We can be beautiful... [KIDS:] Ooh... Beautiful...

[VERONICA:]Ugh!... Hey Martha

[MARTHA:]Hey

[VERONICA:]Martha Dunnstock. My best friend since diapers

[MARTHA:]We on for movie night?

[VERONICA:]Yeah, you're on Jiffy Pop detail

[MARTHA:]I rented "The Princess Bride."

[VERONICA:]Ho-ho-ho, again? Wait, don't you have it memorized by now?

[MARTHA:]What can I say? I'm a sucker for a happy ending

[KURT:]Martha Dumptruck! Wide load! Honnnnnk!

[KURT:]Hahaaa!

[VERONICA:]Kurt Kelly. Quarterback. He is the smartest guy on the football team. Which is kind of like being the tallest dwarf

[KURT:]Ha ha! Alright!

[VERONICA:]Hey! Pick that up! Right now!

[KURT:]I'm sorry, are you actually talking to me?

[VERONICA:]Yes, I am. I wanna know what gives you the right to pick on my friend. You're a high school has-been waiting to happen. A future gas station attendant

[KURT:]...You have a zit right there...

[VERONICA:]Dear diary:

Why...

[HIPSTER DORK:]Why do they hate me?

[REPUBLICAN GIRL:]Why don't I fight back?

[KURT:]Why do I act like such a creep?

[VERONICA:]Why...

[MARTHA:]Why won't he date me?

[RAM:]Why did I hit him?

[STONER CHICK, MS. FLEMING & BLOW-DRIED PREPPY:]Why do I cry myself to sleep?

[VERONICA:]Why...

[KIDS:]Somebody hug me!Somebody fix me!Somebody save me!

[KIDS & VERONICA:]Send me a sign, God!Give me some hope, here!Something to live for!

[KIDS:]Ah! Heather, Heather, and Heather!

[VERONICA:]And then there's the Heathers. They float above it all

[KIDS:]I love Heather, Heather, and Heather

[KIDS:]I hate Heather, Heather, and Heather

[VERONICA:]Heather McNamara, head cheerleader. Her dad is loaded—he sells engagement rings

[KIDS:]I want Heather, Heather, and Heather[VERONICA:]Heather Duke, runs the yearbook. No discernible personality, but her mom did pay for implants

[KIDS:]I need Heather, Heather, and Heather

[VERONICA:]And Heather Chandler, the AlmightyShe is a mythic bitch

[VERONICA:]They're solid Teflon—never bothered, never harassedI would give anything to be like that

[KIDS:]Mm...

[HIPSTER DORK:]I'd like to be their boyfriend

[KIDS:]That would be beautiful...Mm...

[STONER CHICK:]If I sat at their table, guys would notice me

[KIDS:]So beautiful...Ooh...

[MARTHA:]I'd like them to be nicer

[KIDS:]That would be beautiful...Ooh...

[BELEAGUERED GEEK:]I'd like to kidnap a Heather and photograph her naked in an abandoned warehouse and leave her tied up for the rats

[HEATHER CHANDLER:]Grow up, Heather. Bulimia is so '87.

[HEATHER MCNAMARA:]Maybe you should see a doctor, Heather

[HEATHER DUKE:]Yeah, Heather. Maybe I should

[MS. FLEMING:]Ah, Heather and Heather

...and Heather. Perhaps you didn't hear the bell over all the vomiting. You're late for class

[HEATHER CHANDLER:]Heather wasn't feeling well. We're helping her

[MS. FLEMING:]Not without a hall pass, you're not. Week's detention

[VERONICA:]Um, actually, Ms. Fleming, all four of us are out on a hall pass. Yearbook committee

[MS. FLEMING:]...I see you're all listed. Hurry up and get where you're going

[HEATHER CHANDLER:]This is an excellent forgery. Who are you?

[VERONICA:]Uh... Veronica Sawyer. I crave a boon

[HEATHER CHANDLER:]What boon?

[VERONICA:]Um. Let me sit at your table, at lunch. Just once. No talking necessary. If people think that you guys tolerate me, then they'll leave me alone...

Before you answer, I also do report cards, permission slips, and absence notes

[HEATHER DUKE:]How about prescriptions?

[HEATHER CHANDLER:]Shut up, Heather

[HEATHER DUKE:]Sorry, Heather

[HEATHER CHANDLER:]For a greasy little nobody, you do have good bone structure

[HEATHER MCNAMARA:]And a symmetrical face. If I took a meat cleaver down the center of your skull, I'd have matching halves. That's very important

[HEATHER DUKE:]Of course, you could stand to lose a few pounds

[HEATHER CHANDLER:]And ya know, ya know, ya know?This could be beautifulMascara, maybe some lip glossAnd we're on our wayGet this girl some blush;And Heather, I need your brushLet's make her beautiful

[HEATHER MCNAMARA:]Let's make her beautiful...

[HEATHER DUKE:]Let's make her beautiful...

[HEATHER CHANDLER:]Make her beautiful...

Okay?

[VERONICA:]Okay!

[KURT:]Out of my way, geek!

[BELEAGUERED GEEK:]I don't want trouble..

[RAM:]You're gonna die at 3 pm!

[REPUBLICANETTE & NEW WAVE GIRL:]Don't you dare touch me! Get away, pervert!

[BELEAGUERED GEEK:]What did I ever do to them?

[KIDS:]Who could survive this?I can't escape this!I think I'm dying!

[MS. FLEMING:]Who's that with Heather?

[KIDS:]Whoa

Heather, Heather, Heather...

[NEW WAVE GIRL:]And someone!

[KIDS:]Heather, Heather, Heather...

[GOWAN & COACH:]And a babe!

[KIDS:]Heather, Heather, Heather...

[MARTHA:]Veronica?!

[KIDS:]Veronica? Veronica? Veronica?!

[VERONICA:]And you know, you know, you knowLife can be beautiful ([KIDS:] Ah! Beautiful!)You hope, you dream, you prayAnd you get your way!Ask me how it feels ([KIDS:] Beautiful!)Lookin' like hell on wheels...My God, it's beautiful! ([KIDS:] Ah! Beautiful!)I might be beautiful... ([KIDS:] Beautiful!)And when you're beautiful...[VERONICA:]It's a beautiful frickin' day!

[KIDS:]Heather! Heather! Heather! Veronica!Heather! Heather! Heather! Veronica!Veronica! Veronica! Veronica!Veronica!